Craftsmanship

One of the alarming things I'm learning about myself through this project is that I really do need some sort of external pressure to complete...anything, apparently. I've always been more task-oriented than goal-oriented, particularly if the tasks were set by someone paying me a salary. As much as I like to say I'm self-directed, the reality is that I'm only that way when I'm on the clock.


I had decided, sort of, that one of my goals this year would be to try to complete a novel by October 31st, which would then free me up to churn out a potboiler during NaNoWriMo. It seemed more than achievable - if I could write a crappy novel in a month, as I have for past NaNos, than surely I could write a good book in ten months.

It turns out, writing, regularly and with care, is really, really hard. I've never had to do it before; in the past I could churn out papers, essays, and stories quickly and with minimal effort.

Now, though, I'm putting a lot more care and work into it, and it's going at a snail's pace, to the point where it's borderline disheartening. It's hard work, and I'm really trying at it now in a way that I never had to before. Proofing, refining, doing outlines and timelines and character backgrounds; researching buildings and towns and professions. I know I can write well; I know I have a handle on the art of it. What I'm learning, painfully, now, is the craft of it. Like any other trade, I need to develop and hone my skills in ways that are not apparent on the surface, and the only way I can do that is through experience.

So it's been a slow go lately for me, but I'm glad that I'm sticking with it. It'd be easy to cheat, or quit, or pretend I lost interest in the project altogether, but I feel I have a bigger responsiblity now. Now just to Jen, my partner in crime, but to me; to achieve this goal I have set for myself. Not just to know that I can do it, but to believe that I will do it.